When do you get over it?

So let's face it. Right now in my life, boys aren't a big thought. With being over in England, focusing on my Masters, acting in West Side Story, doing the lighting design for West Side Story, auditions for Andrew Lloyd Webber, and the Grad Student Showcase, seriously who has time?

But somehow that seems to be the center of every conversation: who have I been talking to, who do I miss, who is just a good friend, who am I interested in. And I guess the question for myself is when do you get over it?

When does your life NOT focus around boys. To be honest, I have had my share of crushes in the past 8 months and wishing that things with certain people would work out. But seriously, why this focus on finding the one? I guess part of me wonders if it is because all my friends are in relationships, getting married/having kids. And then the other part of me is thinking "well technically if everything would have been working out I would have been stuck in some town with no actual theatre and cooking dinner for some guy that treated me like shit. A 'happy' marriage". NO THANK YOU! That isn't the case anymore.

I like being on my own. I like knowing that I can wear what I want and I don't have to worry about my "boyfriend" not liking my outfit. I like going out and talking to different guys and getting to know people. The pressure of having a significant other seems less then it was back at Culver. But why the constant talk of boys?

I think all girls, whether they want to admit it or not, are always looking for that guy that can be their best friend. The guy that when you walk into the bar with jeans, a hoodie, and a baseball cap looks at you and says either A. Well you look comfy. Drink? or B. You look like crap, what's wrong. While yes it is always nice to hear "oh baby you look good in anything you where," honestly right now I want a guy that can see me looking like shit and can offer either an open ear or a shot of Jager.

I think this is the reason why I am single. I don't "flirt" like some of those girls who go out to bars and can pull any guy. I don't know how to twirl my hair, batt my eyes or giggle at a joke that is truly horrible. I'm the type of girl who would rather play a round of beer pong, do shots at the bar and call you a dork when you chicken out going up and talking to the "hot" girl that just walked in. And no, I don't feel the need every time I go out to the bar to get dressed up and put on tons of makeup. Sooner or later the guy has to see you without all the cosmetics, I guess I just figured they might as well see it sooner.

I like hanging out with the guys and being their friends. If that leads to something, great! If not then at least I know I have a whole bunch of guy friends that I can go party with and have a good time.

But though I may say all this listed above, I still like laying in bed and cuddling with a guy. I like it when he walks up behind me and puts his arms around my waist. I think it's amazing when a guy pulls you in and gives you a quick kiss in the middle of a conversation with one of his friends. Come on, I'm a girl for Christ sake!

But when do you get over this whole search for the "perfect" guy? Is it just possible that a woman truly can be happy without a man by her side? Maybe this whole blog is simply a rant about me being lonely. Maybe it's about me finally being sure enough about myself that I'm ready to be in another relationship. Or maybe, just maybe, I should shut up and for once take my mother's advice and "Not go searching for the right guy. The right guy will find me." Hmmmm........